it was dawn that broke the long silence;
clear waters churned by violent wayward breeze;

ripples to waves; waves to riptides.

the unfathomable depths had much to convey… unimaginable sorrow for the turmoil in her seabed;

only to keep still after the morning’s hush; the turbulence to foam, reluctantly rushed.

and she remains… calm but unsettled.

“i am the sea. i am serenity, i am destruction. i am a two-sided coin…and i plead, yearn… take me in as one, despite my imperfection.”

Dear Eric,

It’s been three months and yet you make me feel as highschool-giddy as the day we met.  You, despite the humdrums of routinary life, never fail to make every day special with your little (and sometimes grand) gestures of affection.  You never cease to woo and sweep me off my feet, and you don’t seem to tire of showing how much you care. It’s like you never stopped courting me… everything still feels like day one.

Hun, I love you… every bit of you — your nuances, your peculiarities — the way you run your fingers through your perfectly raven locks when you’re feeling proud; those random snorting sounds you make with every hearty laugh; the funny instances when you cock your head back when you’re sarcastic; the way you tightly hold my hand and tug me close when we’re together; those heart-warming moments when you stare at me with sincere, brown eyes; the way your voice sounds so sweet when you whisper in my ear…

Thank you, my dear, for being with me for the past twelve weeks.  Here’s hoping we’d stay this consistently in love for the next months, nay, years.  <3

Yours,
Elly

I’ve stumbled upon my first ever major website, The Nisan Sanctuary, which was, surprisingly, still up and running.  Huge thanks and kudos to The Contact (Gautam Vaseduvan - wherever you may be, I hope this little note of gratitude finds you)  for keeping the website alive. 

This old-school page I’ve linked — something I’ve made and written during my early years as a webdesigner, circa 1999 — gives me this sense of accomplishment as I retrace my footsteps to where it all began: A Xenogears fansite.  Everything that has started from a small hobby is now my major source of income. 

Thank God for dreams.  ^_^

Here’s a repost of the page’s contents, just in case the link goes down again. 

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PROLOGUE:  The fulfillment of a dream

When I first learned HTML (way back last year, Jan 98), I only thought of making a site that would house my poetry and artworks. I was satisfied making such a small site back then, and my first works were merely patched up layouts by MS Word’s HTML wizard. It was only late November that I bought an HTML book that was to be my Bible… I read and read until I finally found my calling — I want to be a Web Designer! Thus, I dug up the idea of making a site for my favorite games. My prototype sites were about Tomb Raider 2 and Street Fighter Alpha, and they were, ugh… hideous. My disappointment then led to self-pity, thus I threw my book away and gave up HTML. However, it was January 1999 when I decided to give it another shot — right after I finished Xenogears, the best game that I have definitely played in my entire life. Xenogears became my inspiration, and with such zeal in my heart, I waded through HTML, Java, Adobe Photoshop and Javascript. My very first Xenogears site was uploaded last January 25, 1999, and it was very well okay. Being perfectionist in nature, I still wasn’t quite happy with what I did, thus my Xenogears site underwent four major layout changes, this present site being the last. However, I still am not that TOO satisfied with my present work, but I really must stop focusing on this site so that I could develop others. Nevertheless, this site is the fulfillment of a dream - and I want to thank each and everyone of you.. the staff, the people who supported me, affiliates, links, friends, critics, and especially you, dear viewer, for your visits. You people really made this girl happy. ^_^ Until the next sites!

Yours,

I am a living testimony of change.  As I rummage through the annals of a lost era, I have stumbled upon evidences of my former, pathetic self.  Five years ago I was:

a.  immature.

b.  an ignoramus.

c.  an impetuous, reckless turd.

d.  a hopeless romantic, a stupid daydreamer.

e.  did i mention stupid?  YES I WAS STUPID.  :))

f.  thinking too much, of hopeless things, of inconsequential things.

Hah!  Indeed I have matured (a bit), mellowed down, grew boring… but at least I haven’t lost my sense of humor.  :))

And after all that shit I’ve gone through…  I’m still alive, better, happier, more fulfilled.  Yes, there is a God!  :P

*gets struck by lightning*